Date With Artsy Guy

Another Saturday...another date. I'm actually "talking" (or emailing to be more accurate) a bunch of people right now so hopefully that will lead to tons more dates and with the way probability works - one of them will be "the one". I know I need to go through this process - but boy, this is a lot of work - and quite expensive!!! Each guy means getting the eyebrows done, a manicure & a pedicure - at the very least! But I always make myself do it, thinking what if this guy could be it - I need to make sure I'm at my best.

So back to Artsy guy. He's like 6 feet tall and his picture was cute (though he was wearing a baseball hat - always makes me wonder if they're bald when they do that) and we'd only exchanged like 2 emails - so I didn't know much about him besides what was in his online dating profile. But it turns out he was my year and went to my rival high school - what a small world!

Before we even met up, I was a little annoyed. You see, the week before he had emailed me and we had made plans to meet up yesterday. Thursday rolled around and I hadn't heard from him...so I dropped him an email to see if we were still on and I got "hey was just about to email you about that". Right. He tells me he's putting together some ideas for things for us to do and will call me Friday. Okay, a planner, I like that. Friday I get an email saying he's going out with an old college buddy so will call me Saturday to discuss plans for Saturday afternoon (we had decided to meet up around 4pm/got to NYC). Saturday morning - no phone call. I check my email and he sent another message saying he had ended up crashing at his friends place and would be back in time for us to meet up and would call me. Okay (uh, what if I hadn't checked email?!). 4pm rolls around - nothing. I text him telling him I'm already on the train, is he? You guessed it - phone rings less than a minute later! He was like are you really?? I said I was joking, actually running a little late myself and he said he was on the way home from his friends as well and would call me when he got home. He calls at 5pm (I've been ready since early afternoon!) and asks if I was okay with Tapas for dinner - I said that was fine. And he said I was thinking dinner & a movie - and mentioned this artsy movie called "The Fall". I said fine to that too. He calls back a half hour later to finalize timings and we decide to meet at a train station and take the train in together. There was a train in 20 minutes...but he tells me he still needs to shower. Ugh! So we decide to meet at the train station for the 6:45pm train. (Now you see why I was slightly annoyed even before we met!)

So I get to the train station....first impression...WOW are you skinny!! And he had a back-pack with him, I was confused, kinda odd to bring on a date? Plus it was eery how much he looked like my cousin's dad who had passed away - about the same height, skin color, look. That totally threw me off. When he saw me he gave me a hug and said "You look nice". Okay, that was refreshing to hear - only cause with Eagle I've been left wondering what is wrong with me (note: update on Eagle coming shortly).

We got on the train and conversation was nice - he mentioned he smoked and asked if I was okay with that. I said it was fine, as long as the smoke was not in my face (I am way too nice to actually say yes, I mind). He asked if I was vegetarian and he then said he was planning on getting a meat thing at the tapas place that he's been wanting to try out and hoped that was okay - I said that's fine (again really, how else would you answer that). He was telling me how he used to live in NY with his ex-girlfriend (ok) and how it took some time but now he was really ready to meet someone - he wasn't ready before. He also told me he's never really dated Indian girls before (here I am thinking again - another Eagle?!) Then he was telling me about his job - sounded really interesting actually. Even before meeting him, I did know that he made less money than me (it was on his profile) - and yes, that is a problem for me. But I am trying to keep an open mind cause you never know...but on a side note, I really need to decide how big of an issue this is for me because no point in wasting everyone's time if its going to bother me in the long run - I really don't want to be the bread-winner.

We got to NY and then had to take a subway to get to Soho/Village where this restaurant and movie theater were. As soon as we were off the train he had a smoke. I was wearing my sexy heels :) and this guy had long legs - literally he was always walking way ahead of me - I think women all understand that you can't exactly run in heels. When we got to the subway station, he told me to buy a Metro Card. Okay - sorry - first reaction again - why can't I use yours?? And really, you're going to make me buy it - you're not going to buy it for me? Okay so yes, I have expectations. Gentlemen never let a lady pay - they just don't. I hate that I instantly always think of Eagle in these situations but the first thought that went through my head was Eagle would have paid for the card and never asked me to do so. Again - just all part of the first impression - it is what it is (and I need to stop thinking about Eagle - ugh!)

We got to the restaurant and dinner was nice - he's talkative so there weren't really a lot of awkward moments. But I did start realizing that its much easier to go out with someone after you've had a few conversations with them (vs. none) as there's naturally just other things to talk about then. He paid for dinner - that was nice. When I offered to split it, he said I could get it next time. It's always nice to hear someone say next time - kinda lets you know what they're thinking I guess. As soon as dinner was over and we were outside, he had another smoke. Then we went to go see the movie - nice again that he paid. I bought the drinks & snacks. The theater was so packed we ended up in the first row! Part of the movie was filmed in India so that was really cool to see - visually this movie was breathtaking. A little hard to follow at times and we were both guilty of nodding off more than once :)

The movie ended at midnight. As soon as we stepped outside of the theater, he had another smoke. Chain smoker - not quite what I was expecting. The bar next door had some live jazz music - he asked if I wanted to go in and I said I was fine. So we headed back to the subway to catch all of our trains to get back home. I asked him about the back-pack as we were standing around and he said he had his wallet in there and his umbrella (it was raining), etc. and that it was just easier to have this. I laughed saying oh, so this is your man purse. He laughed too - and said he actually had a better one at home. Again, to be completely honest, I immediately thought Eagle would never do that - bring a back-pack - in fact, the kind of guys I end up liking (more classy for lack of a better word) would never have done that. Call me a snob, but its odd to be on a date with a guy walking around with a back-pack!

On the train ride home, he was actually kind of flirty with me - grabbing my arm or playfully punching me. He was telling me how I should see a jazz concert (he's really into music) and about 3 times asked if I would show him around my city. He even asked if I was okay to drive home from the train station and did I want to get some coffee first (prolonging our time together, nice). Okay, so he liked me - that's a good feeling because lately I've been left wondering at times if anyone is ever going to really like me. Too bad though, because I don't like him. The smoking thing is definetly a turn-off but in general not attracted to him at all.....

So that was my date with the Artsy guy. Somehow I have to let him know I'm not interested next time he gets in touch with me. But it was nice to meet him and nice to hear how he is really ready to meet someone now - that we were on the same page at least when it came to wanting to 'settle down'.

I was pleased with myself that I gave Artsy guy my full attention, kept an open-mind and really made an effort to be myself and see what could happen. But I just realized how many times I mentioned Eagle in this email - what can I do? I am trying my best to "move on" but its only human I guess that its going to take time....