The Indian Guy With the American Name

I guess I have been on & off in touch with this guy for months, but we never really exchanged any real emails or had any phone conversations. It was like we'd get in touch via the dating website, but it never went anywhere. Now that I've moved back to NJ, I am really trying to make an effort to meet more people...well, I guess I could be making a better effort, but its a start.

Anyway, so I finally decide to meet up with this guy. Even before we had met, and probably part of the reason I hadn't met him sooner, was that he had changed his name to an American one. You're probably thinking so what? Well, I don't know, that really bothers me. Like you're embarassed of who you are and where you've come from. And the best part is that his new name is not even a derivative of his Indian name - its just completely random!

I'm getting sick of always being the one to make the effort to go where the guy is so I proposed meeting closer to where I live. He was totally for it - cool. We decide to meet at Jose Tejas at 8pm. It is pouring rain outside and I'm almost tempted to cancel, but I don't. I have never spoken to "Indian Guy With An American Name" so I am totally thrown off when I meet him and he has kind of an Indian accent. He puts his hand out to shake mine, and as I reach out for his hand he pulls me into a hug and kisses me on the cheek. Whoa! Okay, totally taken by surprise.

We had decent conversation over dinner. He was looking at me the whole time smiling, completely engaged in whatever I was saying. He was kinda cute...I kept looking at him to figure out what I thought. And I wasn't sure how I felt about him being 4 years older than me...I kept wondering if he looked like an uncle :) Then twice he made some comment about "that's how indians are"....i am sure he didnt mean it negatively but combined with the fact that he changed his name and started eating meat because it was more convenient due to work...i did wonder how "american" he thought he was. He's been in the U.S. 15 years, is he one of those people with a lost identity?

Dinner was fine and then he did the whole hug, grab, kiss on the cheek again when we left. He did email me later (few days later) to tell me he'd like to see me again. I guess I'm open to it. It's just that I feel like I've let go of all those things I thought I wanted...someone gujarati, tall (he's not), vegetarian, etc. and the one thing that I really really want more than anything is to be with someone that was raised here in the U.S. (similar mindsets, backgrounds we can share). Why is that becoming so difficult? Even some of the other guys I'm in touch with right now are also guys that all grew up in India. Obviously I'm trying to keep an open mind cause you never know and I'm going to meet them all - at this point in my life I know meeting someone is more important than anything else...I just wish, well, I just wish a lot of things I guess. I'll just leave it at that.

I'll let you know what/if anything happens with this one. Stay tuned.