I've been talking to Delaware for sometime now - almost 2 months. When we first talked, he reminded me that he had contacted me a few years ago and I had never responded - he wanted to know why I have now, what stopped me before and what's changed since. I have/had my reasons, but wasn't willing to share them...I don't think I am even willing to share them here. What I will share is that there are 3 things about him that are different than what I thought I was open to - he is 5'7, he's Patel, and he's not vegetarian. Completely not 'what i've been looking for'.
I immediately liked that he was consistent about wanting to get to know me, especially his text messages letting me know he was going to call me on a particular night. Our conversations have been very nice - I was immediately drawn to how close he was to his cousins, how much they hung out together and vacationed with one another - very similar to my own family. Plus he loves doing things around the house, working with his hands, and has an adventurous side (I am starting to see a pattern here with my being drawn to guys who like to be out and about!)
Two weeks ago he asked me if I was free - he wanted to take me to a Russell Peters show in Atlantic City. How sweet! However I wasn't around that weekend. I told him I was going to pass through Delaware on Sunday and if it wasn't too late, maybe he & I could meet up. And so we did! We talked on my drive and made plans on where we would go for dinner.
He actually lives at home with his parents right now (they weren't home). I pulled up to his house and he was going to drive to dinner so I parked my car and got out. I saw him standing by his car, and he was bigger than I thought he was going to be (not big fat, big as in bigger built) - and he was cute :) I always tend to notice a guy's lips...and I guess when I do actually notice them, well its a good thing! We got in his car and conversation was easy, just flowed. We were going to Don Pablo's for dinner (I picked the place - I was so excited since there isn't one in my area!) I kept thinking how easy it was to talk to Delaware, especially compared to Mr. Africa. Delaware waited for me when we got out of the car and opened all the doors - again, couldn't help but think how I was practically running behind Mr. Africa to keep up just the night before. Delaware was a gentleman, I liked that.
Dinner was nice - he did order a chicken dish but well, oh well. I always do like when a guy knows I'm vegetarian and offers to eat vegetarian the first time he meets me. Then again, we weren't eating anything we could have shared. We talked about a lot of things - though the first topic I could tell was going to be touchy. He was telling me how his parents were at a wedding and asked me what the largest wedding was that I had ever been to. I said 650-700 people, that it was a Patel wedding. He tells me his cousin's wedding was 1,500 people!! What?!!! I said I couldn't even imagine, nor would want, something that big - that how could you know so many people, that anyone you havent talked to in 12 months shouldn't even be invited. He said he has a really large family and then there is all those people you are obligated to invite, especially people from the same gham. I said I dont really get the whole gham thing (I really don't!). He told me the food alone at his cousin's wedding, for the few days - that the girl paid $80,000 - just for the food!!! I think I just stared in shock, thinking no way in hell would I ever want that nor put my family through something like that. But like I said, I could see this conversation not going in a good direction, so I switched the topic. Everything from there on was smmoth - he showed me some pics on his new i-phone from a recent trip he had just taken with his cousins. After dinner was over, we drove back to his house, and again we talked the entire way - he's really into cars so we discussed a bunch of them. I know I keep saying we talked, but I guess I was just noticing it more because of the silences from the previous night.
When we got to his house he asked me if I wanted to come in. I did go in to use the bathroom since I still had a ways to go to get home. He has a very nice house. Then he asked me if I wanted to take some bottled water for the road or some pepsi - anything. I kindly declined and then he said ok, I'll walk you out. He walked me out, we hugged goodbye, he told me to let him know when I got home and then he waited there until I got in the car and actually drove away. Now this is what I am talking about!! This is nice. Delaware is a gentleman, I really like that.
I texted him when I got home and thanked him for dinner. He replied back saying he was glad I made it home safe and about dinner...anytime. I sent back a smiley face :)
It seems that he's interested? Right? I guess now we wait and see if he calls! I am talking to other people and will be making plans to meet them, but Delaware is def someone I would go out with again....I guess you just never know, huh? :)
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Date With Mr. Africa
I first "met" Mr. Africa only 11 days ago. When I first saw his profile online, I was intrigued by his adventurous side...and he was tall, and built and good looking! Wow. So what that he is here on a work permit. I know, this is me saying that - considering I won't talk to guys from India that weren't brought up here. But like I said, I was intrigued by this guy from Zambia. His whole family was either in Africa or the UK - and that to me was very cool - so different from myself and my life.
We exchanged emails and actually ended up chatting online while we were both at work. We actually ended up chatting for hours that one day - and I remember thinking, wow, I could like this guy. I got excited and sent him my phone number, looking forward to talking to him. A few more emails and chats later, we had our first conversation. I was absolultely surprised that he was quiet - I mean online he was 'talking' so much that I had a complete different picture painted in my head. We still ended up talking for 2 hours, but it was mostly me taking the initiative to bring up different topics, etc. So I was a bit disappointed when I got off the phone (only because I guess I had different expectations for the conversation), but still wanting to meet Mr. Africa.
I was not thrilled that I felt like I was making all of the effort here, but I remember someone telling me that at this point in my life, no more games, that I should initiate and get things rolling - and after the first date it was up to the guy to show interest. So I took that advice, and asked him if he wanted to meet up and he said he would love to. Ok, great! We spent another day chatting for hours from work and I started thinking ok, maybe I got him all wrong on the phone...he would have these one line zingers out of nowhere that were so funny....
He called me on Saturday afternoon and again...he wasn't really saying much. I am totally thrown off now - is he quiet? Shy? Comfortable online but not on the phone? Anyway we talked for a little while on the phone as I drove to my brother's place (he lived in the next town over), joking about what we were going to do on our date (I did make him plan it, he needed to do something here!)
I was running an hour late, as usual! He came to pick me up and the first thing I noticed was that he has an earring. Oh, ok. He was not bad looking, nice build...but a little different somehow from his picture (like his face was more gaunt if that makes sense). I got in the car and he was like you look different than your picture! I asked him if that was a good thing or a bad thing and he said it was a good thing and smiled. So I guess that's a good thing :) He had his ipod headphones on as we started driving away and I just sat there for a minute wondering if he was going to just listen to music and not talk to me while we drove! I was completely thrown off. But then after 2 minutes he took them off and said he had it hooked up to his i-phone and was using it as his hands-free. Phew! We had a bit of a drive to D.C. and I remember thinking hmmm is this drive going to be in silence?! It actually wasn't so bad....he told me about the towns we were passing and we're both pretty adventurous so he talked about things to do around the area.
We got to DC, parked the car in a garage, and walked over to this Tapas place for dinner. I really appreciated that we were both vegetarian - its always so nice when you can share food and not be disgusted by what someone esle may be eating! We ordered sangria and our food was absolutely delicious. There were moments of silence and there were times when I sat there wondering if there was any chemistry. I don't know? The conversation we had wasn't bad, but it wasn't the kind you have when you just click with someone. I asked him why he thought I looked different than my picture and he said it was my hair - but that it looked nice. Well...I was having a good hair day :) but it made me laugh thinking that anyone could like my hair! :)
After dinner we walked around looking for a dessert place. I found it very strange that he kept walking ahead of me - I know he was a lot taller and probably had a longer stride and I had heels on, but he never slowed down. At times I felt like I was following way behind him! There was no opening doors beforehand or any of that other gentleman-y stuff, but the walking ahead of me was just plain wierd. We found this ice cream place and unfortunately there really wasn't anywhere to sit down, all the tables were taken. So we stood and ate....mostly in silence! At this point I was feeling like maybe there just is no chemistry here? But I was still trying to keep an open mind.
After our dessert, we got back in the car and headed home. I got us lost so we had a good time laughing about that for awhile. But again, there were times in the drive where it was just silent. At this point, I didn't care - it was past 1am and I kind of just wanted to get home. It's funny because before the date I had even grabbed a movie with me thinking if the date went well, I'd invite him over to watch a movie or something so we could hang out longer. When he pulled up to my brother's place I felt like I should invite him in (at least offer), so I did (in a roundabout way) and he just shook his head no. Hmmm, ok! No because it was my brother's place and he didnt want to intrude, or no because he actually wasn't interested in me (could that be?!) I thanked him for dinner, gave him a hug goodbye and left.
As I got into bed, I remember thinking that I would feel bad if he didn't call me or get in touch with me again. Only because I think at some point it starts hurting your ego....but at the same time, to be honest, I also wasn't excited about him. Not like I thought I would be. Would I go out with him again? Yes - because sometimes you just never know....and I've heard too often how sometimes people just don't hit it off until the 2nd or 3rd date. Even though i'm not "excited", there was enough there to give it another chance if that opportunity presented itself...just one more chance though, not sure I would keep pushing it if the 2nd time around was just like this one.
So this experience, this date, was a reminder to me (again) of how important it is to meet people right away. Sometimes you click with someone online, sometimes on the phone...but ultimately the only thing that matters is in person. Its a good thing I made meeting him happen so fast - now I need to do that with the other guys I'm talking to....
We exchanged emails and actually ended up chatting online while we were both at work. We actually ended up chatting for hours that one day - and I remember thinking, wow, I could like this guy. I got excited and sent him my phone number, looking forward to talking to him. A few more emails and chats later, we had our first conversation. I was absolultely surprised that he was quiet - I mean online he was 'talking' so much that I had a complete different picture painted in my head. We still ended up talking for 2 hours, but it was mostly me taking the initiative to bring up different topics, etc. So I was a bit disappointed when I got off the phone (only because I guess I had different expectations for the conversation), but still wanting to meet Mr. Africa.
I was not thrilled that I felt like I was making all of the effort here, but I remember someone telling me that at this point in my life, no more games, that I should initiate and get things rolling - and after the first date it was up to the guy to show interest. So I took that advice, and asked him if he wanted to meet up and he said he would love to. Ok, great! We spent another day chatting for hours from work and I started thinking ok, maybe I got him all wrong on the phone...he would have these one line zingers out of nowhere that were so funny....
He called me on Saturday afternoon and again...he wasn't really saying much. I am totally thrown off now - is he quiet? Shy? Comfortable online but not on the phone? Anyway we talked for a little while on the phone as I drove to my brother's place (he lived in the next town over), joking about what we were going to do on our date (I did make him plan it, he needed to do something here!)
I was running an hour late, as usual! He came to pick me up and the first thing I noticed was that he has an earring. Oh, ok. He was not bad looking, nice build...but a little different somehow from his picture (like his face was more gaunt if that makes sense). I got in the car and he was like you look different than your picture! I asked him if that was a good thing or a bad thing and he said it was a good thing and smiled. So I guess that's a good thing :) He had his ipod headphones on as we started driving away and I just sat there for a minute wondering if he was going to just listen to music and not talk to me while we drove! I was completely thrown off. But then after 2 minutes he took them off and said he had it hooked up to his i-phone and was using it as his hands-free. Phew! We had a bit of a drive to D.C. and I remember thinking hmmm is this drive going to be in silence?! It actually wasn't so bad....he told me about the towns we were passing and we're both pretty adventurous so he talked about things to do around the area.
We got to DC, parked the car in a garage, and walked over to this Tapas place for dinner. I really appreciated that we were both vegetarian - its always so nice when you can share food and not be disgusted by what someone esle may be eating! We ordered sangria and our food was absolutely delicious. There were moments of silence and there were times when I sat there wondering if there was any chemistry. I don't know? The conversation we had wasn't bad, but it wasn't the kind you have when you just click with someone. I asked him why he thought I looked different than my picture and he said it was my hair - but that it looked nice. Well...I was having a good hair day :) but it made me laugh thinking that anyone could like my hair! :)
After dinner we walked around looking for a dessert place. I found it very strange that he kept walking ahead of me - I know he was a lot taller and probably had a longer stride and I had heels on, but he never slowed down. At times I felt like I was following way behind him! There was no opening doors beforehand or any of that other gentleman-y stuff, but the walking ahead of me was just plain wierd. We found this ice cream place and unfortunately there really wasn't anywhere to sit down, all the tables were taken. So we stood and ate....mostly in silence! At this point I was feeling like maybe there just is no chemistry here? But I was still trying to keep an open mind.
After our dessert, we got back in the car and headed home. I got us lost so we had a good time laughing about that for awhile. But again, there were times in the drive where it was just silent. At this point, I didn't care - it was past 1am and I kind of just wanted to get home. It's funny because before the date I had even grabbed a movie with me thinking if the date went well, I'd invite him over to watch a movie or something so we could hang out longer. When he pulled up to my brother's place I felt like I should invite him in (at least offer), so I did (in a roundabout way) and he just shook his head no. Hmmm, ok! No because it was my brother's place and he didnt want to intrude, or no because he actually wasn't interested in me (could that be?!) I thanked him for dinner, gave him a hug goodbye and left.
As I got into bed, I remember thinking that I would feel bad if he didn't call me or get in touch with me again. Only because I think at some point it starts hurting your ego....but at the same time, to be honest, I also wasn't excited about him. Not like I thought I would be. Would I go out with him again? Yes - because sometimes you just never know....and I've heard too often how sometimes people just don't hit it off until the 2nd or 3rd date. Even though i'm not "excited", there was enough there to give it another chance if that opportunity presented itself...just one more chance though, not sure I would keep pushing it if the 2nd time around was just like this one.
So this experience, this date, was a reminder to me (again) of how important it is to meet people right away. Sometimes you click with someone online, sometimes on the phone...but ultimately the only thing that matters is in person. Its a good thing I made meeting him happen so fast - now I need to do that with the other guys I'm talking to....
Friday, July 18, 2008
Trying So Hard To Move On...
It's been a while since I've posted an update, I do have dates I need to write about...but today, I just wanted to share that I am really, really trying to move on - but its not as easy as I wish it would be. Time heals all, I know that, but time seems to be going so slowly.
I don't talk about Eagle anymore, and I ask others not to talk about him either. But in the moments of silence, when I am alone with my thoughts, he crosses my mind often - sometimes the smallest things trigger his memory and the pain of that loss is still very deep and I constantly find myself holding back tears. Tonight I remembered a link he had sent me to his online photos when we first met, and I found that link and clicked on it...and saw two new albums posted with pictures from his summer. I clicked on the link and felt this pang in my heart - I sat here and looked at the pictures, wanting to smile, trying hard not to get upset. I signed up for updates so I can see the next album he posts. I know I shouldn't have done that - the pain is too real still, I am going to delete the update request as soon as I am done writing this. It's just that never in my life have I had a best friend like him before - not even with guys I've dated or that were my boyfriend. I am sure those feelings were magnified because I fell in love with him. Do I ever cross Eagle's mind? Does he wonder how I am doing? Does he feel my loss the way I feel his?
I pray, I really do, that all these guys I am talking to and meeting right now - that one of them will show me that I just think Eagle was my best friend. I want someone to show me that I have it all wrong. That I don't even know what the meaning of best friend is until I experience it with him. God, I hope this happens. It has to happen - Eagle cannot be the ultimate 'best friend' experience I am suppose to have!
It's only been about 6 weeks, so its not surprising that its all still so fresh and painful - but I am doing everything in my power to try and meet someone else and refocus my attention and energy. Everyone that knows me well knows I am the ultimate optimist - I must be to still believe in love, even after all my experiences. But sometimes its just hard to keep that smile on my face when my heart is so full of disappointment...
I don't talk about Eagle anymore, and I ask others not to talk about him either. But in the moments of silence, when I am alone with my thoughts, he crosses my mind often - sometimes the smallest things trigger his memory and the pain of that loss is still very deep and I constantly find myself holding back tears. Tonight I remembered a link he had sent me to his online photos when we first met, and I found that link and clicked on it...and saw two new albums posted with pictures from his summer. I clicked on the link and felt this pang in my heart - I sat here and looked at the pictures, wanting to smile, trying hard not to get upset. I signed up for updates so I can see the next album he posts. I know I shouldn't have done that - the pain is too real still, I am going to delete the update request as soon as I am done writing this. It's just that never in my life have I had a best friend like him before - not even with guys I've dated or that were my boyfriend. I am sure those feelings were magnified because I fell in love with him. Do I ever cross Eagle's mind? Does he wonder how I am doing? Does he feel my loss the way I feel his?
I pray, I really do, that all these guys I am talking to and meeting right now - that one of them will show me that I just think Eagle was my best friend. I want someone to show me that I have it all wrong. That I don't even know what the meaning of best friend is until I experience it with him. God, I hope this happens. It has to happen - Eagle cannot be the ultimate 'best friend' experience I am suppose to have!
It's only been about 6 weeks, so its not surprising that its all still so fresh and painful - but I am doing everything in my power to try and meet someone else and refocus my attention and energy. Everyone that knows me well knows I am the ultimate optimist - I must be to still believe in love, even after all my experiences. But sometimes its just hard to keep that smile on my face when my heart is so full of disappointment...
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