Date With Mr. Africa

I first "met" Mr. Africa only 11 days ago. When I first saw his profile online, I was intrigued by his adventurous side...and he was tall, and built and good looking! Wow. So what that he is here on a work permit. I know, this is me saying that - considering I won't talk to guys from India that weren't brought up here. But like I said, I was intrigued by this guy from Zambia. His whole family was either in Africa or the UK - and that to me was very cool - so different from myself and my life.

We exchanged emails and actually ended up chatting online while we were both at work. We actually ended up chatting for hours that one day - and I remember thinking, wow, I could like this guy. I got excited and sent him my phone number, looking forward to talking to him. A few more emails and chats later, we had our first conversation. I was absolultely surprised that he was quiet - I mean online he was 'talking' so much that I had a complete different picture painted in my head. We still ended up talking for 2 hours, but it was mostly me taking the initiative to bring up different topics, etc. So I was a bit disappointed when I got off the phone (only because I guess I had different expectations for the conversation), but still wanting to meet Mr. Africa.

I was not thrilled that I felt like I was making all of the effort here, but I remember someone telling me that at this point in my life, no more games, that I should initiate and get things rolling - and after the first date it was up to the guy to show interest. So I took that advice, and asked him if he wanted to meet up and he said he would love to. Ok, great! We spent another day chatting for hours from work and I started thinking ok, maybe I got him all wrong on the phone...he would have these one line zingers out of nowhere that were so funny....

He called me on Saturday afternoon and again...he wasn't really saying much. I am totally thrown off now - is he quiet? Shy? Comfortable online but not on the phone? Anyway we talked for a little while on the phone as I drove to my brother's place (he lived in the next town over), joking about what we were going to do on our date (I did make him plan it, he needed to do something here!)

I was running an hour late, as usual! He came to pick me up and the first thing I noticed was that he has an earring. Oh, ok. He was not bad looking, nice build...but a little different somehow from his picture (like his face was more gaunt if that makes sense). I got in the car and he was like you look different than your picture! I asked him if that was a good thing or a bad thing and he said it was a good thing and smiled. So I guess that's a good thing :) He had his ipod headphones on as we started driving away and I just sat there for a minute wondering if he was going to just listen to music and not talk to me while we drove! I was completely thrown off. But then after 2 minutes he took them off and said he had it hooked up to his i-phone and was using it as his hands-free. Phew! We had a bit of a drive to D.C. and I remember thinking hmmm is this drive going to be in silence?! It actually wasn't so bad....he told me about the towns we were passing and we're both pretty adventurous so he talked about things to do around the area.

We got to DC, parked the car in a garage, and walked over to this Tapas place for dinner. I really appreciated that we were both vegetarian - its always so nice when you can share food and not be disgusted by what someone esle may be eating! We ordered sangria and our food was absolutely delicious. There were moments of silence and there were times when I sat there wondering if there was any chemistry. I don't know? The conversation we had wasn't bad, but it wasn't the kind you have when you just click with someone. I asked him why he thought I looked different than my picture and he said it was my hair - but that it looked nice. Well...I was having a good hair day :) but it made me laugh thinking that anyone could like my hair! :)

After dinner we walked around looking for a dessert place. I found it very strange that he kept walking ahead of me - I know he was a lot taller and probably had a longer stride and I had heels on, but he never slowed down. At times I felt like I was following way behind him! There was no opening doors beforehand or any of that other gentleman-y stuff, but the walking ahead of me was just plain wierd. We found this ice cream place and unfortunately there really wasn't anywhere to sit down, all the tables were taken. So we stood and ate....mostly in silence! At this point I was feeling like maybe there just is no chemistry here? But I was still trying to keep an open mind.

After our dessert, we got back in the car and headed home. I got us lost so we had a good time laughing about that for awhile. But again, there were times in the drive where it was just silent. At this point, I didn't care - it was past 1am and I kind of just wanted to get home. It's funny because before the date I had even grabbed a movie with me thinking if the date went well, I'd invite him over to watch a movie or something so we could hang out longer. When he pulled up to my brother's place I felt like I should invite him in (at least offer), so I did (in a roundabout way) and he just shook his head no. Hmmm, ok! No because it was my brother's place and he didnt want to intrude, or no because he actually wasn't interested in me (could that be?!) I thanked him for dinner, gave him a hug goodbye and left.

As I got into bed, I remember thinking that I would feel bad if he didn't call me or get in touch with me again. Only because I think at some point it starts hurting your ego....but at the same time, to be honest, I also wasn't excited about him. Not like I thought I would be. Would I go out with him again? Yes - because sometimes you just never know....and I've heard too often how sometimes people just don't hit it off until the 2nd or 3rd date. Even though i'm not "excited", there was enough there to give it another chance if that opportunity presented itself...just one more chance though, not sure I would keep pushing it if the 2nd time around was just like this one.

So this experience, this date, was a reminder to me (again) of how important it is to meet people right away. Sometimes you click with someone online, sometimes on the phone...but ultimately the only thing that matters is in person. Its a good thing I made meeting him happen so fast - now I need to do that with the other guys I'm talking to....