So the morning started off with the news about the cousin getting engaged...and the evening ended with going to Eagle's town for dinner! Don't ask how or why...its just where the restaurant was chosen, people coming in from different places and it was central location. In my entire life, we haven't gone to this town for dinner...yet today, it's where we ended up.
Every memory I have of that place is linked to Eagle - I only know it as his town. We've hung out at his place there, walked around there, eaten at restaurants around there, driven around there, he's shown me properties he owns around there. I kept wondering if I was going to run into him. Silly as it sounds, I even changed into this cute dress I bought today just in case I ran into him (at the very least I wanted to make sure I looked good).
My mom was in the car with me. As we pulled into the town, she asked me about Eagle, if I had heard from him. I told her no, that I wouldn't since I asked him not to contact me (well I didn't exactly say that to him but you know what I mean). And she was like so he just used you and now doesn't even call. He always wanted to go places with you and now nothing. I told her I didnt feel used, he had said from the beginning he wasn't serious about just us being together. But he was already on my mind, and now we were talking about him - ugh.
When we were at the restaurant, every single time the door opened my eyes darted to it, I think I may have even subconsicously held my breath. My two year old neice wanted to go outside every once in awhile and I took her - my eyes were constantly searching around me to see if he was nearby.
As we were leaving, everyone was talking about how nice this town was becoming. I said this is where I might end up living if I find a new job in that area. Few more months still until that could happen and I have to believe that I won't be so anxious anymore about running into Eagle, especially if the area becomes my home too. Though I am sure initially it will be on my mind, how could it not?
I know, its only been two weeks, and as hard as I am trying to move on and meet other people, enough time has not gone by for all of this not to affect me the way it did. I don't know if I left disappointed that I didn't run into him. But I definetly have left with a heavier heart.
What a day :(
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